Just an opinion.
I recently read an article where an individual in his twenties who is seemingly still navigating his way within the LGBTQ community while attempting to take the lead, discussed the topic of consent while referring to receiving unsolicited dick pics when on hookup apps.
In other words, he lacks social skills, which in turn may be the real answer to why he feels uncomfortable, so now he is trying to make a thing out of random dick pics.
After my initial eye roll, my thoughts were - you are using a hookup app, more so than a dating app and you don’t expect that the odd dick pic might happen to get sent your way? And yet he also claims to be sex-positive?
To me, it seemed to be more of that overly sensitive, easily offended, cancel culture shit, which is just really attention-seeking for an individual. Forget live and let live.
The writer acknowledges that he has encountered this type of activity while being on Grindr, and is demanding changes go his way by setting up an online petition. Good luck with that one, it will go nowhere.
If getting an unsolicited dick pic is going to ruin your world, to the point you have to set up an online petition, you probably have bigger things issues to take care of, or perhaps you need something more viable going on in your life.
Hell, stay off any social media or anything LGBTQ-related but my instincts tell me this might be a genuine concern for him but editors may perceive it as click bait, and from what I’ve seen online, it’s worked, including on me.
For myself, I don’t ask for or see the big deal in dick pics, if someone sends one, whatever. I prefer the element of surprise and wish to discover that part of the person for myself, when and if I decide to meet up with and possibly have sex with that individual, but this is only my preference and I don’t even make a note of it in my profile.
And I don’t send out dick pics unless I know the person and they ask for one and it’s part of our fun, but typically it’s not what I do. If nothing moves further without my dick pic, so be it, and really, everyone uses Grindr differently.
And consent, believe me, I get it. There are laws about it to varying degrees in every country and I’m all for it where due but in this case, it's not like air-dropping photos to someone while on an airplane.
With Grindr or any hookup app, it just goes without saying, you log into a sex app - expect explicit material written in a message, on a profile, or by the occasional dick pic coming your way. You are not being forced to use the app, and again, it’s about choice.
In the past, I managed bathhouses for over a decade, which means I’ve seen thousands of dicks in real life (personality or otherwise) and I’m still here to talk about it. Just looking at a man now can give me a pretty good indication of what he might be packing. At least I like to think so from time to time, out of amusement.
Usually, if someone sends me a dick pic, I never feel violated as it’s part of the Grindr game. My first thoughts are usually how they might have photoshopped the pic in some form or another in order to make it look bigger. And I leave it at that, as rarely for me has it been part of the conversation and a pic has never enticed me or expected of me to possibly meet up.
To me, in the social media, thirst-driven world we all live in, at this point, a dick pic is just another photo, part of a polluted market of sorts and more mainstream.
The dick pic has contributed to the common social dynamics of today, for better or worse, as a part of a culture, and no matter your sexuality, it’s unlikely that will change anytime soon.
If what appears to be a small number of people are offended by such a photo, will this now mean hookup apps will soon require even more agreements to click through while they already try to upsell the individual for additional services? Probably not.
Or should more people discover the block button on the app itself? Or better still, avoid hookup apps altogether! If you are looking for someone that is 100% compatible with your ideals on an app, sorry to say, it likely will not happen there or in real life. But you might find someone pretty damn close that will be a more suitable companion for you.
Although I don’t know the individual personally who wrote the article, oddly I have some concern about how grounded in reality people like him are, because if this is an issue, how do they manage going through life day-to-day? I would think in the scheme of things, an unsolicited dick pic would be the last of my worries.
I can’t imagine what it is like to try and live in such a non-offending world as life is about rough edges, it keeps you on your toes, challenges you, forms character, and helps you grow as an individual from experiences that help define the paths you take.
Does having all the freedoms we are now given by the longstanding, dedicated LGBTQ community at large, due to countless, unimaginable sacrifices, including the lives of others, for real causes, now mean that we can micro-manage ourselves to the point of dick pics on hookup apps by stating what someone can and cannot see?
Sounds a bit like censorship and that is what we as a community have been fighting against so that we can be our true selves.
We have to be careful, as our ideas on what might be pushing us forward for the cause can easily put us all back in the closet.
There is a myriad of apps out there to discover, so find the one that works for you, but don’t try to ‘dick’tate what everyone else should do or expect because all of a sudden you are solely offended.
I wonder what happens if the writer uses a communal shower at a gym, do they have to set up specific rules based on his request there? One thing is for certain, he should definitely avoid a bathhouse.
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